one line thoughts

• I miss my husband... :'(
• I'm working next week..for free..volunteering on post
• I feel bad for laggin on my elliptical
• I still miss my husband
• I got a cocktail shaker! yay
• I'm going to bed now lol

Peace & Love!!!

teen mom

..so today after all my running around & sorting out stuff I managed to squeeze in some 'teen mom' on comcast demand..& i gotta give props to those girls, yeah sometimes you wanna slap the shit outta them & scream at the TV like they going to hear ya but i do understand how much they are going through, & even though I'm not in most of their situations (uhh Amber wth?!) I can definitely agree that being a mom, esp a teen mom isn't easy at all..

I gave birth to my first child when I was 19. I did finish high sch. I met a guy, we started hanging out, one thing led to another & we had a child together. At that time, I was working, I had my own place, own car, i had a lot of freedom & a lot of responsibilities! Every wknd I was out partying all over the place, meeting new & old friends & having a blast. so when I found out I was pregnant..it was just shock & disbelief, like how did I let that happen?

I wouldn't say I was a wild child, my family knew I loved to party & have fun, but they also believed I was very responsible & getting pregnant was probably not what they thought about me doing. I was scared to let them know because I knew they would be so disappointed with me & I never wanted to disappoint anyone even if it hurt me.

With all the drama that came with being pregnant, it all changed the minute Madyson came into our lives. suddenly all was put aside & we all came together to witness the miracle of childbirth & the joy of a new family member (esp a cute lil fam member!) then somehow you realise, we always tend to sweat the small stuff & never think to enjoy the bigger better things in life. All the tears shed, heartache & anger never was worth it because it never did matter in the end.

One afternoon, we were all sitting around at home just playing with Mady, while she was entertaining us with her baby antics & we were laughing at some new trick she had learned. My Aunt then said "children bring so much joy into our lives, if Mady was not here, we would not be sitting here laughing & smiling away" she was so right! If I could picture that exact moment without Mady, we would not be laughing..probably just siting watching TV..just to think of how much she added to our lives, laughter, happiness etc..priceless, simply priceless!

Peace & Love!!

feel the cold coming

it is the end of Oct already, which means pumpkins & Halloween stuff everywhere & rain & cold & of course the sickness season starts. I've been with my girls trying to sort out stuff from schools for both me & my daughter, childcare registrations, medical appointments, stuff to do with the car, debt consolidation & the usual homemaker stuff. I need a frikin holiday from this so called holiday. Halloween costumes have been bought, Mady is princess belle & melody is a butterfly. Madyson has recently gotten into the 'princess' phase, everything she wants has to be princess approved..i honestly thought she was going to be a tom-boy but she has a lil pink in her all along! Melody I'm still waiting for her teeth to pop out..shes 6months now & she has been introduced to cereal & baby food (loves her food except for peas..just like her momma lol) oh & husband has been..uh..the same? nothing much changes for him out there, just trying to survive & get his tour over with. we have been talking a lot about what happens when he gets back & when times comes for him to get out, which is roughly in about a year from now. plans are sort of in the planning process i guess, nothing pretty solid but the direction we would like to take is pretty clear although we have to wait & see, that's the beauty of the military, you always have to wait & see, cause anything can happen at a moments notice & pretty much can change everything. its been three months since hes been away, which is exactly how old my blog is, cool huh..not lol. after Halloween gets done its just thanksgiving then Xmas then hello 2011, super surreal how time flies! and me & my girls will be here in Colorado for yet another snow season..man I'm sooo not looking forward to that! I'm going to be indoors all the time coz i hate driving in the snow esp with all the crazy drivers out here! i guess we'll have to survive as well on our end of the world. we'll be OK, we'll always be OK, you have to always look at everything as half full (or is it half empty?) who cares! live like its the end of the world (uhh 2012? iaaa) such a random blog entry..ah yeah random blog ahh yeah *pauly D voice* lol

Peace & Love!!!

hello again!

I definitely been avoiding my blog for a while now, not good rita!! sometimes when you take a leave of absense, you tend to overstay in my case over-leave (dunno if that makes sense, if you got it, good job guyy!)..so since my last blog..

we're back home, san francisco was ok, was rather hectic & as soon as we reached home, for the first time it was just me & my 2 girls, no MIL, no friends, no family & more so, no husband :( its been almost 3mnths now, wow, time sure did fly (a little) we're ok, just takin each day as it comes & just hanging in there..havin the husband not being able to call for a week while they're out doin missions where there isnt any phones is def hard, in Iraq we were very fortunate to be able to communicate every day..but as every week goes by we're finding out more & more that Afghanistan is very different compared to Iraq..it sucks but what ya gonna do?

whenever hes away on missions, i find myself not sleeping well, the anxiety sometimes is too much & I have super weird dreams! yeah, i did have a dream where he was injured & we had to go see him, i think i woke up with tears..also had a dream about some weird competition i won..lol. Im not the person who believes dreams carry psychic messages, i just think we tend to dream about stuff we think about during the day, maybe things that the mind knows we worry about..i dunno. I always forget half the stuff i dream about but sometimes in my sleeping/dreaming state im thinkin to myself, dam this dream is so interesting lol i wish i could remember every detail of my dreams..why do we forget what happened?

anyways enough about the dreams, I hope you all have been well & happy. tonite, as you go to bed please say a lil prayer for our troops & have fun dreaming!

Peace & Love!

San Francisco Bound

I've finally finished with packing, clothes, shoes, IDs, chargers, baby bottles, diapers etc lol I will be gone for a few weeks so my blog may be at a standstill unless I get the chance to post from there..who cares, i don't have a lot of anxious readers waiting for me to post anything anyways lol I don't mind though, I like to blog because it feels like I'm kinda writing a journal & just getting stuff out, esp now that my husband is gone & my lil munchkins would be bored to death with my ramblings..honestly though I like to read my own blog, I like to look back & reminisce about everything that's happened so far, I'm sure other bloggers do too :)

SO anyways SAN FRANCISCO! city by the bay! My mother in law is still with us so I'll be taking her sightseeing around the bay, we'll go see the golden gate bridge, fisherman's wharf (clam chowder in sourdough bread bowl uh yessss!) of course the city, Chinatown (pork buns hehehe) crooked st, ocean beach, & some other places. I really love the vibrancy of the place, so many interesting things to see & do. I think SF is a place rich with culture & heritage & def a lot of personality!

I also hold SF dear to me because that is where I met my husband :) we were friends hanging out & one thing led to another, now we have 2 beautiful girls! I def remember all the places we used to go hang out by ourselves when we were dating, the city offered so many lovely places to enjoy each others company. I remember we used to drive up to this look out point some mornings, with breakfast from McDonald's & have breakfast together while looking out to the city, so beautiful out there..it made it feel great to be in love..good times.

I do believe once our army life is over we will be moving back to the bay. Most of our families & friends live there & despite the high cost of living, SF is a great place to raise a family. I just can't wait to get me some of that clam chowder! hehehe G'nite. Peace & Love!

Fiji..where we call HOME

My husband & I have been living in the USA for almost 5 years now, we've come to accept this country as our home but where we came from, Fiji, will always be our true home. When people ask me where I come from & as I reply Fiji, the common response I get is; Where is that? or Fiji? as in Fiji water? lol First of all, Fiji is a little south pacific island nation & yes that's where Fiji water comes from.I loved growing up in the islands, the environment, the people, the weather, the culture, the FOOD! oh how i miss the food :) Fiji is a multicultural country, with the population mostly created up of the indigenous Fijians (which I am a part of) & the Indo-Fijians (Indians who were brought over from India ages ago as labourers). There are also Asians, Pacific Islanders, Americans etc etc etc. Fiji was once under British rule, thus the union jack on the flag but is now an independent country, & the common language spoken is English.

I just miss the relaxing vibe of the islands & the beauty of the people & place & I sure do miss a nice warm beach to swim in! If you're ever planning a holiday soon, try FIJI, flights fly out of LAX on Air Pacific every week & there are numerous hotels to stay, budget friendly like Skylodge, to the more pricey like the Sheraton Fiji or Hilton & don't forget to take a cruise, Beachcomber is a popular one! (oh lawd I'm dreaming of a vacation now!) Soon hopefully, once the girls get a bit older, we'll be able to have $ saved up for a nice family vacation ..sunshine,cocktails on the beach,family & friends..ahh..I can already see it :)

I AM a DEPLOYMENT SURVIVOR

Browsing through the MIL spouse blogs, I came across this entry at goodnight moons blog.
So it is a bunch of other mil spouse bloggers sharing their thoughts about being a deployment survivor, the good & the bad! once you follow the link be sure to read the others blogs as well linked to her blog entry..read the awesomeness of Mil Wives & the un-awesomeness of deployments!

MY STORY
My husband is currently on his second tour overseas, first time he deployed to Iraq, & this time to Afghanistan. Deployments are definitely the hardest times of our lives together. We try so hard to keep our marriage together, there has been times where we were ready to throw in the towel & just call it quits but we always sought out the strength to keep carrying on & every good day that goes by, we are both grateful that we still have our family, we still have each other to get through the bad days.

Every Mil wife, knows we have to be strong to be able to survive, we made that commitment the moment we said "I Do" but we all know the pain of those lonely nites, crying & missing your other half..and not forgetting worried for their lives that when you don't get a call, stomachs start to turn a little, head starts to sweat & just panic sometimes engulfs you to almost insanity!

I look at our 2 girls & I thank god for them, I know my husband misses them tons as well, during deployments my kids have been such heaven sent! even with all the tantrums & meltdowns they keep me from constantly going to that dark place where you just want to crawl up in a ball & shut the world out, they keep me occupied & I love to share those little moments with them & of course I wish their daddy was here to see them, thank god for YouTube! :)

Deployments never get easy, doesn't matter if its your first or tenth, I read all these Mil blogs & sometimes the posts relate so much to me that I think hey you know I'm not the only one & I definitely won't be the last. I realise how much we sacrifice for our families, for our husbands & I appreciate myself much more because I am a Deployment Survivor & I will always be, for my kids & for the man I love, no matter what!

Peace & Love!!!