one line thoughts

• I miss my husband... :'(
• I'm working next week..for free..volunteering on post
• I feel bad for laggin on my elliptical
• I still miss my husband
• I got a cocktail shaker! yay
• I'm going to bed now lol

Peace & Love!!!

teen mom

..so today after all my running around & sorting out stuff I managed to squeeze in some 'teen mom' on comcast demand..& i gotta give props to those girls, yeah sometimes you wanna slap the shit outta them & scream at the TV like they going to hear ya but i do understand how much they are going through, & even though I'm not in most of their situations (uhh Amber wth?!) I can definitely agree that being a mom, esp a teen mom isn't easy at all..

I gave birth to my first child when I was 19. I did finish high sch. I met a guy, we started hanging out, one thing led to another & we had a child together. At that time, I was working, I had my own place, own car, i had a lot of freedom & a lot of responsibilities! Every wknd I was out partying all over the place, meeting new & old friends & having a blast. so when I found out I was pregnant..it was just shock & disbelief, like how did I let that happen?

I wouldn't say I was a wild child, my family knew I loved to party & have fun, but they also believed I was very responsible & getting pregnant was probably not what they thought about me doing. I was scared to let them know because I knew they would be so disappointed with me & I never wanted to disappoint anyone even if it hurt me.

With all the drama that came with being pregnant, it all changed the minute Madyson came into our lives. suddenly all was put aside & we all came together to witness the miracle of childbirth & the joy of a new family member (esp a cute lil fam member!) then somehow you realise, we always tend to sweat the small stuff & never think to enjoy the bigger better things in life. All the tears shed, heartache & anger never was worth it because it never did matter in the end.

One afternoon, we were all sitting around at home just playing with Mady, while she was entertaining us with her baby antics & we were laughing at some new trick she had learned. My Aunt then said "children bring so much joy into our lives, if Mady was not here, we would not be sitting here laughing & smiling away" she was so right! If I could picture that exact moment without Mady, we would not be laughing..probably just siting watching TV..just to think of how much she added to our lives, laughter, happiness etc..priceless, simply priceless!

Peace & Love!!

feel the cold coming

it is the end of Oct already, which means pumpkins & Halloween stuff everywhere & rain & cold & of course the sickness season starts. I've been with my girls trying to sort out stuff from schools for both me & my daughter, childcare registrations, medical appointments, stuff to do with the car, debt consolidation & the usual homemaker stuff. I need a frikin holiday from this so called holiday. Halloween costumes have been bought, Mady is princess belle & melody is a butterfly. Madyson has recently gotten into the 'princess' phase, everything she wants has to be princess approved..i honestly thought she was going to be a tom-boy but she has a lil pink in her all along! Melody I'm still waiting for her teeth to pop out..shes 6months now & she has been introduced to cereal & baby food (loves her food except for peas..just like her momma lol) oh & husband has been..uh..the same? nothing much changes for him out there, just trying to survive & get his tour over with. we have been talking a lot about what happens when he gets back & when times comes for him to get out, which is roughly in about a year from now. plans are sort of in the planning process i guess, nothing pretty solid but the direction we would like to take is pretty clear although we have to wait & see, that's the beauty of the military, you always have to wait & see, cause anything can happen at a moments notice & pretty much can change everything. its been three months since hes been away, which is exactly how old my blog is, cool huh..not lol. after Halloween gets done its just thanksgiving then Xmas then hello 2011, super surreal how time flies! and me & my girls will be here in Colorado for yet another snow season..man I'm sooo not looking forward to that! I'm going to be indoors all the time coz i hate driving in the snow esp with all the crazy drivers out here! i guess we'll have to survive as well on our end of the world. we'll be OK, we'll always be OK, you have to always look at everything as half full (or is it half empty?) who cares! live like its the end of the world (uhh 2012? iaaa) such a random blog entry..ah yeah random blog ahh yeah *pauly D voice* lol

Peace & Love!!!

hello again!

I definitely been avoiding my blog for a while now, not good rita!! sometimes when you take a leave of absense, you tend to overstay in my case over-leave (dunno if that makes sense, if you got it, good job guyy!)..so since my last blog..

we're back home, san francisco was ok, was rather hectic & as soon as we reached home, for the first time it was just me & my 2 girls, no MIL, no friends, no family & more so, no husband :( its been almost 3mnths now, wow, time sure did fly (a little) we're ok, just takin each day as it comes & just hanging in there..havin the husband not being able to call for a week while they're out doin missions where there isnt any phones is def hard, in Iraq we were very fortunate to be able to communicate every day..but as every week goes by we're finding out more & more that Afghanistan is very different compared to Iraq..it sucks but what ya gonna do?

whenever hes away on missions, i find myself not sleeping well, the anxiety sometimes is too much & I have super weird dreams! yeah, i did have a dream where he was injured & we had to go see him, i think i woke up with tears..also had a dream about some weird competition i won..lol. Im not the person who believes dreams carry psychic messages, i just think we tend to dream about stuff we think about during the day, maybe things that the mind knows we worry about..i dunno. I always forget half the stuff i dream about but sometimes in my sleeping/dreaming state im thinkin to myself, dam this dream is so interesting lol i wish i could remember every detail of my dreams..why do we forget what happened?

anyways enough about the dreams, I hope you all have been well & happy. tonite, as you go to bed please say a lil prayer for our troops & have fun dreaming!

Peace & Love!